By this point in time, I am sure that you have heard that Whitney Houston is dead. Most reports claim that she had taken some pills and when combined with the alcohol she consumed, it somehow lead to her death.
Whenever I hear of another celebrity tragedy (death, divorce, weight gain, infidelity, the list goes on and on…) it reminds me the reality is that no matter what your social status, financial status, or your place in life, no one has it easy. No one. This makes some people question what is the meaning of life, what is the purpose of life and how to change your life.
We each have our own journey to take. Our own path to follow. God has a different plan for each and every one of us, no two are alike. Instead of wishing you were on a different path, enjoy your own! Your path is just as special as the next persons! It was created just for you! By keeping your eyes on YOUR path, and not the paths of others, you will begin to see a change in your life for the better. You will start to observe things you never noticed before. Your path will lead you to your purpose!
I was reading thru some quotes by Erma Bombeck today and thought I’d share this one with my readers…. something to keep in mind during this busy time of year!
“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you? ”
– Erma Bombeck
Short. Sweet. To the point. Here is the thought for today:
“I am different, not less ”
― Temple Grandin
So on the way home from school today, Ben had an epiphany of sorts. He turned to me and asked “Mom, why does school take so long?” In response I asked him “Don’t you like school?” He replied “Yes but it just takes so long mom.” Yeah, he’s right. Sometimes things take too long. Actually, now that I think about it, most of the time things take longer than planned, but that’s okay. It’s all just part of the journey.
I had a really good friend in college. We had some legal classes together (I hold a degree in Paralegal Studies / Legal Assisting) and usually we went to lunch together after class to eat and study. We had a lot in common. We both had kiddos and we were trying to find our way back into the corporate world. Our kids played together. We compared job search notes with each other.
She always ordered the same thing every time we went to lunch. This is what she ate every day, for two years, at lunch:
A croissant that was split with butter on it and fried on the grill topped with fried eggs, lots of bacon and cheese. Then she topped that with a ton of mayonnaise. I always teased her that is was a “heart attack on a plate”. She laughed and ate it anyhow.
After graduation, we both moved on, busy with our lives. We kept in touch but were not as close as we once were. Christmas Eve I was getting ready to go to a family celebration and was walking thru the living room. The news was on. My friend was killed in a head on collision the night before. Her sons had also been in the car but they were unharmed. My friend was dead.
Apparently those croissants did not matter after all. I try hard everyday to keep that in mind.
For those of you who don’t know, my son Ben is Autistic. He is a “special needs” child. He has been in therapy and special schools since he was three. It is my job to make sure that he gets all the services he is entitled to and that the specialists who are supposed to be helping him do what they are supposed to be doing for him.
Since the beginning of this journey, I have always been hands on at his school. I never just assummed the staff was doing their job and that I did not need to follow thru or support them. It amazed me then and still amazes me now that so many parents just don’t get involved at their childrens schools. Especially since these are the parents of special needs children. To me this just ups the importance.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I know that there are many families where both parents work and also many families with single parents doing their best for their children. The truth is that when the teachers send home a notice about a parent teacher meeting and then the parents don’t show up, they just assume you are not that interested in your child’s education. I have heard this first-hand from many teachers.
I am not talking about going full out PTA parent or anything. I am simply talking about showing up for parent teacher conferences and volunteering a few hours during the school year. Kids LOVE to see their parents on their school campus! They just get such a thrill to know you are there too (even if you are not in the same room). Email the teachers when you have a comment, question or concern. Ask the teacher if there are any items you can contribute to the classroom (kleenex, snacks, juice, whatever they need). Let them know you are an active and involved parent!
As much as it is the responsibility of the teachers to help your child learn, it is your responsibility to make sure that they are able to help your child in the best way possible! Your input is INVALUBLE
One of my favorite quotes, from the movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”:
“For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. And, if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”
Last year I tured 40. I dreaded it for quite some time. I feel like life is passing me by. I feel like I am at a standstill and I have made no progress, done nothing substantial. Day after day it is the same thing only different. Dare I say that I feel “unfulfilled”? That maybe I have no purpose in life, no passion to pursue, no interests that I can devote enough of my time to.
I had my first child at the age of 18. Pregnant just out of high school. I went from being someones child to having a child. I had no time for self discovery or to find out who I am or what I wanted from life. Two more children followed. Then my last child. My only son. He was diagnosed with Autism 4 years ago and life will never be the same. I have moved from being “Louise’s mom” to “Coral’s mom” to “Shelby’s mom” to “Ben’s mom. Mother of a child with Autism”. It is my current title. Everywhere we go, everything we do it comes up no matter what. I can’t escape it for a day, an hour or a minute.
So, I have been pondering my “purpose in life”. Is this really it? All that is planned for me?
Today I had Ben at therapy and the center we go to has a program for older, challenged children/young adults. There is one boy there in particular (almost a Man) who is just happy all the time. Talks to everyone. Puts his hand up so you can give him “knuckle bumps” and then he will ask a question to start a conversation with just about anyone. Today, after the pre-requisite knuckle bumps, he asked “How was your Mother’s Day?” I responded and he conversed with me for a few minutes, then moved on continuing his duties at the center.
Once I got home I was relaying the encounter to Dane. I was explaining to him that the young man at the center was just so happy to talk to people and would be happy with any job he got to have, even if it was at a fast food restaurant just emptying trash or whatever. He was just happy to be doing something. Anything. Just to be part of the human experience.
That’s when it occurred to me. Maybe that’s it. Maybe my purpose, everyone’s purpose, is just to BE. Be happy. Be productive. Be part of the human race. Stop searching and just BE.